Well, I was found out. The plan was foiled. Nothing left to do but come clean. I intentionally didn’t post last week.
I could spend some time making excuses for myself, but I’ve adopted the idea that excuses are dumb and don’t fix anything. When something’s important, you figure out how to get it done. You only make excuses for things that you know you should have done, could have done, but for whatever reason didn’t. I used to call them “reasons”, but even they functioned as excuses.
I didn’t post last week because I was irritated with my weight gain for the week. My excuse would be that I had been traveling a lot, but we all know that if I really wanted to do things right, traveling wouldn’t have stopped my good habits. Last Wednesday I was 309.
Now, that frustrated me because apart from the trip to Yankee Stadium (also known as “The Greatest Road Trip of My Life”) I thought I had been doing well. As far as I could recall, I had eaten normally and the only difference was the trip food, including Stadium food, and a lack of exercise. So I gain 5 pounds in a week? I didn’t get it. But that’s how my life usually goes. I guess the positive part about making this all public is at least you all get to see what kind of a struggle it is for some people to lose weight. My brothers-in-law could do exactly what I did and not see a change in their weight at all. But when you look at the difference between us, they’re both way more active on a daily basis than I am.
So in retrospect, a lack of exercise is probably more detrimental to me than I realize. But on top of that, I still have a too-strong connection to food. I decided to start following the plan of the Bible study I’ve been doing, and today’s half-portion day has been killing me. After lunch I actually felt angry because I couldn’t eat more. Withdrawal, you are a terrible beast.
This morning my weight was down to 307. So basically since the first time I posted my weight, maybe five weeks ago, I haven’t moved an inch. Oh, I’ve had a lot of movement, down and up and down, but I’m still where I started a month ago. Maybe one of these weeks I’ll figure out why I can’t stick to things for long enough to make a difference!
Welcome to my life.
-j
ps> I don’t want to sound like I’m whining. I’m really not. I don’t feel all emo about this situation, but I said I would be honest, and that’s what I’m trying to do. For whatever reason, this is the particular struggle that Satan is using to get me down right now. It’s been others before, and it’ll be others later.
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